Youth Blog

“Anna Begins”

by Counting Crows

Some spend their lives longing after someone; a deep and genuine connection with another soul.  They look so hard for that connection they can imagine it even when it is not there.  Others spend there time developing casual connections with many souls; feeding off the social energy of others.  They don’t bother imagining a connection because they have many, yet they can still feel alone.  Still others take these to the extreme; never fully connecting with anyone for fear of being tied down or left broken.   “Anna Begins”is from Counting Crows’ breakthrough album August and Everything After and I have always been drawn to it’s mysterious ambiguity and free-flowing form.  Counting Crows made it big when I was a freshman in high school, and this song spoke to the confusion and chaos of that time in my life.  By all account,  “Anna Begins” recounts the tortured deliberations of a man in a relationship with Anna.  The voice of the song battles a hesitation to commit to Anna despite her pleas.  Over the course of the song the voice opens up to the idea of committing to this only to have her slip away in his hesitation leaving him to find new meaning in the hook “I’m not ready for this sort of thing.”  Now he’s not ready for the pain of loosing something he actually wants. 

While this song talks about a human-to-human relationship, I think that it sheds light on how we relate to God.  I believe that God calls us into relationship with God and with each other.  We humans have developed many strategies for avoiding God’s call on us; turning instead to our own selfish bent.  We try anything to talk ourselves out of caring about anyone or anything that does not suit us.  Like the voice of “Anna Begins,” we resist accepting God as a partner in life, choosing instead to seek fullness in people, things, activities that attract our personalities.  We hide from God in the “package of lies” and myths that sustain us and in the dark corners of our self-doubt and fear.  Sometimes we don’t turn to God out of our fear of turning to nothing; we think “(we’re) not ready for this sort of thing.” 

The thing we must remember about God is that, unlike Anna, God is never gone.  No matter how much time and energy we waste ignoring God’s call on our life, it always remains.  Each of us can, at any moment, turn to God and understand the nonsense of this world through a different lens.  We can choose to see a world that is full of potential and love rather then a cold, dark dangerous place from which we must hide.  With time God begins to change our minds and open us up to the possibility of loving another and becoming the “gong” that moves someone else closer to God through love.  There will always be times when we doubt and question but with God we can always begin again.

Watch a live version of “Anna Begins on YouTube at

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zjw8ZEs99qM&mode=related&search=

“Anna Begins” - Lyrics

My friend assures me, "It's all or nothing."

I am not worried

I am not overly concerned

My friend implores me, "For one time only,

make an exception." I am not worried

Wrap her up in a package of lies

Send her off to a coconut island

I am not worried I am not overly concerned

with the status of my emotions

"Oh," she says, "you're changing."

But we're always changing It does not bother me to say this isn't love

Because if you don't want to talk about it then it isn't love

And I guess I'm going to have to live with that

But I'm sure there's something in a shade of grey,

Something in between,

And I can always change my name

If that's what you mean

My friend assures me, "It's all or nothing."

But I am not really worried I am not overly concerned

You try to tell yourself the things you try to tell yourself

To make yourself forget I am not worried

"If it's love," she said, "then we're going to have to think about the consequences."

She can't stop shaking

I can't stop touching her and...

This time when kindness falls like rain

It washes her away and Anna begins to change her mind

"These seconds when I'm shaking leave me shuddering for days," she says

And I'm not ready for this sort of thing

But I'm not going to break and I'm not going to worry about it anymore

I'm not going to bend, and I'm not going to break and I'm not going to worry about it anymore

It seems like I should say, "As long as this is love..."

But it's not all that easy so maybe I should

Snap her up in a butterfly net Pin her down on a photograph album

I am not worried I've done this sort of thing before

But then I start to think about the consequences

Because I don't get no sleep in a quiet room and...

The time when kindness falls like rain

It washes me away and Anna begins to change my mind

And every time she sneezes I believe it's love and

Oh lord, I'm not ready for this sort of thing

She's talking in her sleep

It's keeping me awake and Anna begins to toss and turn

And every word is nonsense but I understand and

Oh lord, I'm not ready for this sort of thing

Her kindness bangs a gong

It's moving me along and Anna begins to fade away

It's chasing me away

She disappears and

Oh lord, I'm not ready for this sort of thing